You realize that you’re facing another problem aside from the boredom. The main reason you’re here in the first place is that your whole squad was out of practice. If you just sit here all day, you’ll be out of shape to boot.
So you spend your time doing whatever exercises you can manage in this stupid cell. You can’t do much in the way of actual combat maneuvers, seeing as your weapon’s been confiscated and you don’t have any sort of opponent to face; but you can do push-ups, and that’s something.
It’s not particularly entertaining, though. Just tiring. You lie down on your cot once you’re done, too worn out to do anything except think about how satisfying it will be to spit in the face of your next interrogator.
Granted, you’ll probably only get away with that once. Everyone’s got waterproof masks, after all. But damned if you’re not going to make the most of that one opportunity.
Suddenly, you hear a very light knocking coming from one of the walls. Huh, someone actually gives a damn that you got captured? You take a quick glance around to confirm there are no guards and knock back with the “all clear” signal.
Another round of knocking indicates your conversational partner is Shorty, one of your squad members. He must have decided to hitch a ride on the barge after getting knocked into the muck yesterday.
Well, you might be able to get out of this cell sooner than you’d hoped. A few more knocks confirm that Shorty’s got no chance of getting in unnoticed, but he can find a way to sneak some small things into your cell so you can take care of the rest.
So you just need to think about what to ask him for.
ask shorty to bring you your homework, which contains the mathematical formulas that you’ll need to solve to calculate the trajectory on which you’ll spit a proper loogie directly into the face of the next guard
A double-decker wedding cake. You can hide all sorts of things in that!
Marry Shorty to sell the story
But you are married to Shorty!
Spoiler alert for the next page, I did not actually use any of the above suggestions. This was beyond what I was even willing to do with ridiculous subversions – which, admittedly, I’ve gone pretty far with before.
The end result of this was I had to put my foot down and make clear that I wanted more practical suggestions. And since I was making daily updates, when the time came to do the next one and I didn’t feel I had anything to work with, I opted to go with “nothing”.
This is not to say there won’t be any silliness in this story. Just nothing this blatant.